Pearman's Book

Final Paper

"There are always two parts to an interaction" (Goldstein, 1993, p. 150). This I discovered throughout the course. I learned that I don't really pay all that much attention to the people I have conversations with. I am just off in my own little word although I am listening; to somebody else it would not look like it at all. I don't keep eye contact either, I look away a lot. For example me and my girlfriend eat sometimes in the food court at the mall and while she is talking to me or vice versa I look around to try and see how many people I can find that I know. My girlfriend then says "hey, I'm over here." And I can tell she's a little upset with me for not paying attention. By doing a one on one communication exercise in class my partner told me these things so I can work on them and if I kept doing these things how they could affect the outcome of any conversation I have. I also learned that I do not speak clearly all the time, well most of the time. I tend to mumble my words or talk under my breath. I mainly do so when I am nervous or tired and I have seen personally that it negatively affects my conversations, because the other person(s) involved ask me to repeat myself and I get mad, so I snap back at them and by doing that I ruin a possibly great conversation.

According to Pearman, a great author, my EQ type is ISFJ. EQ stands for emotional intelligence. Pearman describes it as "a complex ability to regulate your impulses, empathize with others, and persist and be resilient in the face of obstacles" (Pearman, 2002, p. 1). It means that I am introverted sensing with extroverted feeling. I feel that this classification is

very accurate. As I read through the descriptions I bring myself back to times in my life where I have done these things and then I think how I could have better executed these conversations and interactions. In the end of Pearman's book under the eight functions he states that I should for my introverted sensing "learn to identify feelings and emotions as useful information" (Pearman, 2002, pp. 52-53). During this class and mindfulness meditation periods I learned to wait for the person to finish talking about their feelings and such before I just put in my two cents where it may not even be needed. For my extroverted feeling I need to "learn when empathy and self-disclosure are appropriate and when critique is needed," for me this seems to prove to be a little bit harder to accomplish or even get better at. I will try to do my very best to improve on this and not fall into my habitual pattern of giving up when it gets hard.

Mindfulness is defined as "attentive, aware, or careful" (Dictionary.com, n.d.). I really honestly think that the meditation we did in class was insightful but unsuccessful for