Advice You Elder Sister Who Intended to Marry a Second Wife

Our advice to you would be to first consider your financial stability because with these rising economic prices it is also rather difficult to maintain even one family. First you should begin by consulting your first wife and see how she feels about this. You should also consult extended family members like uncles who were responsible for organising of your first wedding.

African weddings are a spiritual and social family affair and involve the combining of two lives, two families, and even two communities .However today polygamy is still a reality and is becoming an option in the African Diaspora in response to a social dilemma. Polygamy within the framework of law and balance is a viable aspect of African family systems outside of the Western paradigms, all aspects of Africa must be placed on the table of development; critically examined, modified, deleted or enhanced with respect to the African cultural continent, but the families involved should be fully aware of your decision so that it does not create conflict and divide a family that has already been united by the first marriage. You should also consider how this is going to affect your children because even though they might not know what is best for them, they will be emotionally affected by it and it might cause a drift between you and them.

Perception of African self has been so given to us by the "other" that it is hard to distinguish what is indigenous intelligence and what is a product of mental conditioning because of the European dynamic. There is a great confusion around modernity with progress and development and too often Westernization or more specific Europeanization collapses into modernity. African people must objectively re-examine structures that were the backbone of their historical development in an attempt to successful engage in modernity, these meaning that if your culture practised polygamy then you do have a right to take a second wife but must not completely ignore the values of marriage and respect for your wife and family, do not just merely practise an activity because it is part of your culture but take into consideration the moral obligations expected of you as a husband and as a father.

Further disadvantages are that polygamy does not fit the image of a modern society, It sends the wrong message in a country with the world's highest rates of HIV/Aids and also it's completely at odds with the ideal of gender equality that is at the heart of a modern society so consider this in terms of people who might be critical of your decision, this might affect business deals and other beneficial areas in you life

The idea of you taking a second wife is not something we would not advise you to do, you first need to find out what is causing you to consider taking a second wife, it could be that you are running away from a problem that can be fixed in your first marriage, I hope you are not just considering this because