Arranged Marriages Are More Successful Than Love Marriages

Final Paper On

Arranged Marriages are More Successful than Love Marriages

Shafiqa Jahan

Section: 03

Spring 2015

BRAC University

Saheeda is a 25 year old girl. To her, life is all about fun and hanging out with friends. Being a 21st century’s modern girl she does not believe in marriage. To her arranged marriages are just compromises and show off of happiness of two persons and in the case of love marriage it is hard to find the perfect match. Her friends are also like her. All their thoughts about marriages are more alike. However, sudden news gave Saheeda a big shock. One of her closest friend was about to get married. Moreover it was arranged by her parent’s. Saheeda went straight to talk with her friend but after listening her friend’s positive comments about arranged marriage she started collecting information. She found out that most of her relatives have done arranged marriages and they are happy with their partners. Moreover she found out that the divorce rate in arranged marriages is only 4% where in love marriage it is much higher. She also found out that arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages as arranged marriages have social compatibility, in arrange marriage there is less expectation therefore it is more stable and in arranged marriage the couple stay more committed to each other.

To begin with arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages as it has social compatibility including parent’s involvement and it is religiously and culturally adjustable. Choosing a partner for marriage is not a matter of joke. It is not only about marrying a person but marrying a whole family. It is not only a personal issue but a social issue too. Therefore when parents choose a partner for their child they try to make the best choice as they know who will be right for their child. For instance, Black (2011) in her article mentioned a girl’s name Arshi Mujtaba. Where Arshi after 25 years of her marriage life said that she believe that her parents

made a good decision for her. She also added that if her parents would have left it completely to her then she might not have made a good decision. Moreover, in arranged marriages parents choose partner for their child of same religion and also who will have the same cultural values as theirs. It makes a relationship more compatible in society. Such as, in love marriage people often do not consider anything before love. They do not think of religion or the culture of their partner. However in a marriage both of the thing matters. Therefore arranged marriages are perfect example of these.

In addition, arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages as there is less expectation within the pair which makes the relationship more stable. Firstly, in arranged marriage both the partners come with an adjustable mentality. They do not impose their decision on each other rather they try to understand each other’s situation. On the other hand in love marriages as the pair knows each other from earlier they do not think of any negotiation. For example, Black (2011) in her article quoted a girl Viswanathan’s statement. Viswanathan, after her arranged marriage talked about her biggest challenge which was moving with her new husband to his home in America. She also added that over time they discovered that they did not share all the same opinions or food preferences. However, they agreed on the most important values as a family and how to live as role models for their children. Secondly, in arranged marriage there is a presence of mutual respect and care. As both the partners are almost stranger to each other they try to give respect to each other’s opinion and give their best to take care of each other. For instance, in love marriage the presence of respect is very low as both the partners

can talk freely with each other, they do not care about giving respect. On the other hand, arranged marriage is built on respect ad care for each other which make the relationship more stable.

Furthermore, arranged marriages are more successful than love marriage as in arranged marriage the couple stay more committed to each other due to family pressure and also because of better understanding. Commitment is needed in every relationship. Especially in marriage, commitment is necessary. In love marriage people can easily give divorce to their partner or can break their commitment as there is no involvement of family. However in arranged marriage, due to family pressure the couple stays more committed to each other. For instance, in love marriage if a partner does not feel committed to the other one they can break the commitment but in arranged marriage as families are involved therefore, before doing anything wrong the couple has to think of the families and they stay more committed. Moreover, in arranged marriage there is better understanding between the couple. As they know that no matter what they have to stay together because of the family’s involvement and also due to social circumstances they try to built better understanding between each other. Such as, Bentley (2011) in his article presented a positive side of arranged marriage. There he said that in the west marriages are easy to get out of. However in arranged marriages, the commitment is very strong. People get married knowing they won’t leave. Therefore, when times are harder if they face injury or trauma they do not run away rather