Book Review - Getting Past No by William Ury

Book Review of Getting Past No by William Ury

SUMMARY

This is a book on proven strategies used in various negotiation formats that instruct the reader on how to reach a mutually beneficial agreement with a difficult opponent. The author gives various examples throughout history where traditional negotiating techniques might have led to disastrous outcomes, but since the techniques he advocates were employed the results were much more favorable. He lists examples from ancient Chinese warfare to hostage negotiations to the boardrooms of CBS and AT&T, all of which showcase one or more of his 5 part negotiation process.

Before the negotiation begins Ury insists on proper preparation. You should invest your time to decide what your goals, priorities, and alternatives are and then look at the goals, priorities, and alternatives of your negotiating partner. Decide what rules you are going to play by, what standards you will employ, and alternatives to negotiation. Proper preparation could be the key to a successful negotiation.

The first step in the negotiation process that Ury suggests is going to the balcony. This is basically taking control of yourself and then trying to take control of the situation. Ury lays out tactics to use when the negotiating partner tries to stone wall, attack, or trick. In all of these situations he suggests to "go to the balcony". In other words take a step back and look at the situation from a third party point of view. Don't fall into the temptation of striking back, giving in, or leaving which is natural human nature. Take a deep breath, count to ten, step out of the room to take a phone call, consult with your team, any reason to step back and calm yourself. Never make a rash decision, but take a moment and try to identify the tactics your partner is using and then overcome them.

Once you have gone to the balcony and regained your mental balance you should step to your partner's side and help them regain their mental balance. This is done so that a good environment can be created and negotiations can go forward. You should do this by actively listening to what they are saying, make eye contact, throw in an "I see" on occasion, anything to let them know that you are paying attention and giving credit to what they are saying to you. Focus on what you agree on even if it is just 1%, it is important to say "yes" and not "no" to foster an environment of agreement. Try to approach problems as "we" and "us", try not to accuse with "you" statements and make expressive statements with "I" so that you include them on your point of view and the attempt to find a solution. The key is to try and disarm your partner and let cooler heads prevail.

Step three is to reframe the dispute in terms of interests rather than positions. The best way to get the opposite side to focus on interests is to ask open-ended, problem solving-oriented questions. Ask "why" questions to elicit the opponent's interests. If they resist, ask them "why not" questions about alternative solutions. Hardball tactics can be reframed in a positive manner. If they stone wall, we can ignore it. If they attack us

personally, we can recast it as an attack on the problem. Turn past wrongs into future possibilities. Name a dirty trick out loud, or play along as though they are negotiating in good faith, while continuing to ask clarifying questions. The key again is to make the person you are negotiating with your partner and not your enemy. If all this fails maybe you should negotiate the negotiations and re-define the rules and standards you are playing by.

Step four is the golden bridge. Now you are nearing the end of your negotiations and the deal is at hand. It is important at this point to make it as easy as possible for your partner to accept the deal. There can be times when the best deal for both sides are on the table, but one side refuses to take it because they feel like they are backing down or being forced to take it. At this juncture you should look for the non-material reasons for the other side not accepting. It could be anything from recognition to acceptance or security. If need be use a third party that both parties can agree on to set a final price or term. Try to craft the deal into a win-win and give the other side credit for coming up with the final idea. Anything that you need to do so that they can take the golden bridge.

Lastly, the fifth step is to educate. Even if you have the power to force the other side to agree to your terms you should not employ that tactic. Instead, use your position to educate them as to why they should accept the deal. Help them to understand the consequences if they do not accept the offer and that both sides will be better off if the deal is reached. Make them aware of your back up plan, and ask them about their alternatives, put everything out on the table. If you absolutely have to, push away from the table, but always leave