Capitalism Case

When we first started dating in the beginning of the year, my best friend was happy for us. But as soon as we go into our first fight, she started hating him. Whenever I was upset, she told me that he was an awful boyfriend. Regardless, her and I still hung out, but November of last year...I really admired her. Everyone overlooked me while people paied attention to her. And while people walked all over me, she was being praised. I wish I got respect like that. She always told me I was a push over and that I needed to stand up for myself against my good friend and my boyfriend, but I did neither. I loved him so much, but at the same time, people continued to take advantage of me. It in only upset me because he took advantage of me and I didn't want a situation like that to happen again. So I changed myself. I stood up to the people who pushed me around and it felt great. I did everything she advised me to do. She told me that one person was a bad friend and I gradually started believing it. I pushed everyone away, by "standing up for myself but at the same time, they pushed me away too. I jumped on everything, and soon "standing up for myself" got old to people really fast. I can't believe that I was so blinded by having a best friend that I didn't see what was really happening. I miss the old me. The one who would laugh at everything and not give a fuck about anyone's opinions. I want to go back to bad. So as of today, 3-20-13, at 6:00 PM I'm back to the old me. No more hating people I shouln't hate, no more picking fights for no reason. Its just me.