Centerville Community Center Proposal

Introduction

After thorough review and evaluation of your organization's current proposal, I found this is an effective one but with some minor problems that need to be corrected. First of all, I agreed with you to start with the mission and overall objective which include the explanation the goals of your community center and followed by the rules and processes how to running these activities. These are really strong evidences for your organization when seeking funding for the new programs, it will shows your organization is a wide range of recreational, cultural, educational, and social activities and enhance the quality of life for your residents. Then, you explained much detained about the new exercises and plans, like invested other organizations to participating the health fair with your origination and added follow-up services for the people who have had the high risk of heart diseases. These specific implementation plans will provide a predict value for the external funders who are interesting for your organization.

Problems

There are still some problems that needed to be corrected for your proposal. The first one is you didn't explain anything about the expenses for your new plans. Based on the textbook P- 695, it shows the budgets are usually a particularly important feature of proposals. You need to identify the how much money has to spend on the operating activities and wages for the service staffs. (Like Figure 19.7). Second, I think it will better if you delete the "AFFILIATIONS WITH SIMILAR ORGANIZATIONS" paragraphs on page 2, because this part is related to your advanced health programs and there is no reason to explain that early, and these participating organizations has been welled introducing on the later page. And the last thing I want mention about is the structure established on your proposal. According to the textbook on page 649 in the second paragraph: the writer has to consider about the will the reviewers have a limited time to evaluating the proposal? To write an effective proposal I suggest that you keep the article small and concise, list your new plans on the proposal and explain the main point briefly. Cut the useless sentences on "HEALTH PROGRAM" and combined the current and the future plans together as a part of planned activity.

In conclusion

This proposal can be considered as an effective one if you can correct the problems I discussed above. Add a budget expense figure for the external funders, delete the useless paragraph and finally keep the proposal in short and coherent.