Crucial Conversations

What are some connections between Polarity Management and Crucial Conversations?

If I'm understanding Polarity Management correctly, it is an idea that is new to many people. While most of us were taught that most problems have one correct answer, this philosophy says that there are problems that have two or more right answers which are interdependent answers. To clarify, under polarity management, instead of thinking that problems have an "either/or" solution, it is better to think in terms of "both/and" thinking. Crucial Conversation talks about these problems in detail. For example, the chapter called "Start with your Heart" proposes this question: "Is there a way to tell your peer about your real concerns and not insult or offend him?" Crucial Conversations would contend that there is a way to do both, with a shift in thinking, as well as keeping in mind some skills to become more successful in your conversations.

This independent study program offered you the opportunity to coach a colleague. How do you feel or think your coaching helped your colleague? ...and what were some indicators of success with your coaching?

I spoke to my colleague about a problem that we are both familiar with in our district. She is closer to the problem that I am, since she is in a different building, but I am familiar enough with the situation to have a good idea about what she was talking about. I admit that I had to get my "cheat sheets" out for this assignment, but was very happy to see that I use a lot of the language (plural forms, exploratory language, and positive presuppositions) even if I haven't formally coached in a while. I began by using a questions right off the card, "What comparisons might you make between the conversation you had planned/envisioned and the one you had?" Even though the question was somewhat awkward on my part, I could see that she was thinking about her responsibilities for opening conversation. She went on to outline the conversation as she wanted it to happen, and how she will respond if she feels she is entering the "danger zone." I can't wait to hear if she has been able to improve her relationship with this individual.

In a separate conversation, I spoke to a non-TLA colleague about a situation where a colleague who she was asked to partnership with, instead took over the project. It was not even 15 minutes after finishing my conversation with Bonnie. With my coaching strategies fresh in mind, I was able to use the same questions to help this other colleague think in a new way about her partner/partnership. We just had another meeting (one week later) and I noticed that these two partners are again talking and planning about how to lead their DSIT forward. 

Given the 7 tools or strategies for productive conversations, what are some considerations you want