Divorce: The Affects It Can Have on Children

For better or for worse, divorce is a very common event these days. Most everyone has been touched by it, either by going through it themselves as a spouse or a child, or knowing someone who has gone through it as a spouse or as a child. Divorce affects children more than we can imagine. It affects them emotionally, mentally, and physically.

One of the most damaging effects of divorce on children is the emotional trauma caused by parents who fight or belittle each other in front of their children. Children feel like they are expected to take sides but cannot do this without being disloyal to the other parent. However, by not taking sides they fear disapproval and rejection by both parents. They feel like they are trapped in a no-win situation where it is "wrong" to love both parents. There is no such thing as a "good" divorce, but things go a lot smoother on the children when the parents get along. There is not as much pressure and stress put on the children. If the parents do fight it could cause a lot of damaging effects on their children.

There are several other emotional affects that a divorce can have on children. It can cause them to withdrawal from family and friends. They may even lash out with negative behavior or anger. The angry may become the child's way of dealing with obstacles. The children may feel depressed and their self-esteem may drop dramatically. They may also develop mental illness later on in life.

Children may feel a huge sense of loss, sadness, and worry when their parents get divorced. They may believe that the absent parent has gone forever and that they no longer have a family. They may worry about the absent parent. Worry about where they are going to live, how they are going to survive, and how they are going to eat. They may feel like their whole world has been turned upside down.

There are a few physical affects. Children might have a change in their eating habits. They may not feel like eating or they may even find comfort in food, so they begin to eat more and more. Sleep might become a big issue as well. Children might not be able to sleep, take longer to fall asleep, or even wake up many times during the night. Nightmares or even bed wetting might start happening. The emotional, mental, and physical effects are mostly caused by new insecurities or even stress.

When parents get divorced the children's age does have somewhat of an effect on how the kids react. I was only four months old when my parents got divorced. I never got to experience a life with both my parents in the same house. It was hard for me growing up, but yet it was something that was normal for me. I have had several people ask me, "Don't you wish your parents were still together?" Well I honestly do not know because I never got to see them together. There were times I had wished my parents would have stayed together and worked