Doing Business with Don Willetts

From the moment I became aware of this unfortunate contract situation, my son deserves first consideration. He needs encouragement and supportive guidance all the way through and past the conclusion of the business issues. This can be a great tool in his education and in strengthening our relationship.

My first thoughts concerning Don however, are about character. Morality and ethics in private life and business are fundamental issues of character. Although I would assume most Christian adults know better, we tend to attribute our concepts of character upon those who do not know Christ. In this context "Christian adult" refers to an adult who gave their life to Christ and is a regenerated new creature in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17). This is in contrast to an adult claiming Christianity based on family tradition or signing a church membership. The flawed assumption of character comes down to the fallacy-of-shoulds. "The logical fallacy here is that your "shoulds" are somehow universal--that what is intelligent, reasonable, or moral for you ought to be for others as well" (Seltzer, 2009, para. 3).

A young lady was soaking up the sun's rays on a Florida beach when a little boy in his swimming trunks, carrying a towel, came up to her and asked her, "Do you believe in God?" She was surprised by the question but replied, "Why, yes, I do." Then he asked her: "Do you go to church every Sunday?" Again, her answer was "Yes!" Then he asked, "Do you read your Bible and pray every day?" Again she said, "Yes!" But by now her curiosity was very much aroused. At last the lad sighed and said, with obvious relief, "Will you hold my quarter while I go in swimming?" (Hewett J., 1988)

The young boy understood that character equals action and that true character comes from God. Approaching Don in the same way I would approach a Christian brother could easily produce an undesirable outcome. I must realize that Don does not think in terms of character and ethics the same way I do. Don may genuinely not understand my position and dismay over his actions.

A great deal is at stake, my livelihood and provisions for my family, and Don's eternal destiny as well as that of his descendants. Matthew 10:16 comes to mind, "Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves" (NLT).

I must formulate the issues clearly in my mind so I can verbalize them to Don in a clear message format (Adler & Proctor, 2007). This clear message format also helps me claim and control my own emotions. I need to let Don know that I value his friendship and his business. Don needs to understand that these issues are important for us to resolve together for the benefit of both parties. There does not have to be winners and losers. I need to separate the issues into categories of legal, spiritual, and practical although I may only emphases the practical and legal with Don.

My initial response to Don may follow this format: "Don, when you asked