Don't Give Up Your Dreams

It's 8 o' clock at night; mom is getting ready for work. Before she leaves she comes into my room to make sure my bag is packed and have everything, she gives me a hug and kiss and tells me good luck, I love you, and everything will be just fine. During the night I lie awake when I'm supposed to be asleep with a long day ahead of me... thinking how much my life is going to change in less than 24 hours.

The night goes by and soon it comes to be 4:30am... I get up, take a shower and let the hot water run over my naked body and I'm thinking at this point in less than three hours my life, my future- what have I done? I think this is what God apparently has planned for me. I get out hurrying up getting dressed as I'm a little late, I awake my step father and says it's time to go. We get into the pickup and what seemed like a 15 minute drive feels like 5 hours. We arrive at the hospital; the nurse gets me comfortable in my room and hooked up to all the monitors. After about 45 minutes, my step father finally leaves as he has to get ready for work. I lay there for about 20 minutes and my doctor comes in and tells me about the procedure and what the risks are and says "I will see you in a bit." Next the anesthesiologist comes in and explains what he is going to do and leaves. After another 45 minutes go by, the nurse comes in and says are you ready? I look at her, and think, is anybody really in reality ready for this... I said do I really have a choice; she laughed and said "no."

Nurses roll me into the operating room and the anesthesiologist sits me up to put the spinal tap in my back and lays me back down, and they start prepping me for surgery. After they are finished prepping me, its 7:05 am and they start, the doctor asked if I could feel it I said "what am I supposed to be feeling." He laughs and starts cutting me up. I said I feel pressure and tugging, is that normal? They explain that it was normal. At 8:02 am, I see him on the nursery bed or whatever it's called getting cleaned up and them clearing out his lungs and trying to revive him. I'm lying there looking at him crying, waiting to hear that first cry. After about 5 minutes of reviving him he finally cries and the nurse explains that it is normal as he was very stuck. He went up to the nursery while I went into the recovery room for an hour. I finally get upstairs to my room and they bring him in already ready to nurse. While nursing him, my mom comes in unexpectedly seems she was working till 3 that afternoon. Visitors are coming and going; after 4 days I'm finally discharged home taking my little boy, thinking I'm all alone in the world taking care of another life.

Hours turn into days, days turn into months and months turn into years and now that little boy, that I raised by myself is now 4 ½ years old. I have accomplished so many things with him being here,