Dream Recall

The first dream that I can easily recall is probably my most recent. This dream started with me alone walking down a street in the same neighborhood as where my cousins and aunt and uncle live. I have not seen these people nor talked to them in about 7 years and the same was true in my dream. I come upon their drive way and they flag me over. We start catching up and talking about normal things and then out of nowhere they start blaming me for the reasons why our family has been divided for so many years. I try convincing them otherwise but in my dream there was no way of getting through to them and after arguing for a little while they just leave me and give up on the conversation. At this point I start leaving the driveway and woke up.

My second dream starts off at my co-workers house where I've never actually been. He is a close friend and I've known him for about a year and a half. I have never felt any feelings toward this person but in my dream we were romantically involved and he had kissed me. After this had happened, even in my dream I felt extremely guilty for cheating on my boyfriend that I immediately push him away and start explaining that this could never happen again and for him to leave me alone. At this point he becomes very upset and I end up just walking out on him and never looking back even though in my dream he is calling my name. After I walk out of the house I woke up.

I'm not a firm believer that dreams actually mean anything but if I had to analyze them I would say that my first dream would probably show that in my unconscious I might feel slightly guilty for the never trying to contact my family just because my dad doesn't want me to. I never had a problem or disliked them in anyway so maybe I feel like because I didn't make an effort (and I still get Christmas and birthday cards) to respond to them that I played a part in our family being torn apart. I don't think of them often but when I do I wonder if what I did was the right thing to do and if its too late to try and make amends.

In my second dream I had cheated on my boyfriend and felt this extreme guilt during my dream and even after when I jolted awake. I have cheated on a boyfriend in the past and to be quite honest I felt bad but did nothing about it because I didn't care about him enough. With my current boyfriend I am very attached and care a lot more about his feelings than any other boyfriend I've had. I think this means that in my conscious state I could never do anything to hurt my current boyfriend because even in my unconscious state I couldn't deal with the guilt. Or maybe because of my previous history of being a cheater I'm so afraid that I could do it again, like it's just one of my characteristics I can't change, and really hurt someone that I truly care about. Like I said, I'm not one to believe my dreams mean anything but if I had to say