Engagement Paper

As of today, I am finally engaged. Many different thoughts have gone through my mind about how we merge two lives together. Can we come to a stage where we have gotten through most of the compromises and enjoy the rest of life together. Just the idea of merging another person's life with my life has become very stressful. It takes a bunch of sacrifice, patience and love. Being engaged are the ultimate bond and the ultimate sacrifice.

I am 36 years old; I have two teenage daughters, and my own set of responsibilities. One of which, is my fiancé who is 50. He has adult children and a total different set of responsibilities. There is a gap in age, and there is also one in thought processes when it comes down to certain topics. In the 20's, they are obtaining the knowledge that they need in order to move on to the next level of their life which is the 30's. In the 30's, most individuals have their careers already and are working on the family and home front. I have been married before, divorced, and now I am engaged to be married again. In the 40's, they have gotten it all figured out, and they have pretty much all of the answers. Some in the 40's are at the end of their careers and planning on the next stage in life The 50's. The children are now adults, and planning families of their own. In a person's 50's, they have done a majority of everything they sought out to do. They are moving forward to retirement, and seeking to enjoy the rest of their life with simplicity and enjoyment.

We have wonderful communication with one another. Compromising amongst us is not difficult. He does have issues with merging belongings when the time comes for us to cohabitate. He would like to keep all of his things. It is difficult for him to get rid of anything to make room for my belongings. This is where the first part of stress came in but, I must say the stress associated with this decision is very minimal. It is not feasible to have two of everything. Whoever has the better quality or more expensive item shall keep it. Problem solved.

Because he is 50, he has adult children. He does not have any grandchildren at this time. He seems to be the main breadwinner in his entire family, siblings and all. This is where the extreme stress comes in because it is very difficult to be in a relationship with someone who cares for a great deal of people financially. It causes tension to rise in his and my relationship, his and the family members relationship and the family member and my relationship. If someone asks for something and the answer ends up being on the blame is automatically placed on me. Of course, what others assume is not the case. The children and the family members also feel as my age is inappropriate. I am 14 years younger than my fiancé therefore; others assume that he has to provide for me. Of course, this is also not the case because I have always taken care of myself