Event Essay

Event Essay

As a little girl, my world was so innocent and happy.  My mom and I liked to sit outside talking, the sun was so warm and inviting.   Life was good.  I loved my mom so much.  I wanted to be just like her. She was the best mom in my eyes then when I was 11 years old my mom left my family and me for drugs.

I couldn’t understand why my mom would want to leave me.  But she did, and she never looked back.  A couple of years went by and she showed up begging my dad to let her see my brother, sister, and me.  He reluctantly agreed. Looking back now I don’t blame him.  We would go to where-ever she was staying at the time, then when night came she would leave us there alone.  Scared to death, I would call my dad and he would come pick us up.  It turned into an awful cycle and eventually my dad said enough.  I didn’t see my mom again until I was an adult.  She missed my prom, my high school graduation, wedding, and the birth of each of my kids.  I wasn’t like the other girls in my school.  I didn’t get to go dress shopping with my mom for prom.  I went alone.  My friends would invite me to go with them and their mothers, but I refused.  Watching girls pick out dresses with their mothers knowing I’d likely never get to do that, made me angry at my friends.    

The next time I saw my mother I begged her to go to rehab.  I had gotten a call from the hospital, stating that my mom had aspirated and was in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU).  I rushed to the hospital thinking the worst.  The doctor had told me that she had taken so many pills, that she passed out then vomited                        

and inhaled it.  If she would have been alone she would have died.  After a couple of days, when she was coherent, I begged her to get help.  I pleaded with her until I was shaking.  I needed her to agree.  I wanted her to agree.  I said everything possible.  I promised everything to her.  I’m not sure why I felt the urge to make her commit to going to rehab right then, but I just knew I had to.  She was my mother, and maybe this was my only chance to have my mom back. She agreed, and I was so relieved.  I was going to pick her up the next day and take her immediately to rehab.    

I arrived at the hospital the next day to pick her up for rehab.  I felt so relieved that she was finally going to get help. When I got to her room, she was gone.  My heart sunk. Why did I let myself believe I was going to change her?  Looking back now I should have known better.

A couple of months went by and I hadn’t heard a word from her. One day as I was walking to my car, she pulled up beside me and said that she loved me.  I told her I didn’t ever want to talk to her again.  “You lied to me for the last time” is all I told her, then I got into my car and left.  That night I got a text from my mom, but it was impossible to read. The words were random and didn’t form any sort of meaningful sentence.  I chose to ignore her text.