Family Matters

A family reunion is a great way to transmit values and foster greater communication within extended family members, which promotes an emotionally healthy life that is fundamental to individuals and society as a whole. If family is the root of our culture, then family reunions are what strengthen those roots. During this time it's easy to understand why family reunions are so important. This is the time to renew old bonds, rekindle pride in your history, your traditions, and yourself. When life's circumstances are sometimes overwhelming, reunions are a time to remember that we do have an anchor - those special people with whom we are connected for life. In this great institution we call family there are those who will help us endure adversity, those who give comfort, share our victories, and pick us up when we fall (Releford).

For family members who are high achievers, reunions are often an important leveling ground, that transcends social and economic status. Nothing helps to restore perspective and do away with any pretension that might rear its ugly head, than being surrounded by people who "knew you when." Even some who changed your diapers and wiped your runny nose. For those who aren't doing so well, reunions provide a lifeline of hope, strength and even potential opportunity through networking with other family members. For the alienated, reunions help to establish ties broken by time, distance and life's busy agenda, and for senior family members, they are occasions to pass on the wisdom of years to the young. And our young people, it is a time to demonstrate new thinking, new energy and even the latest dance craze (Releford). As a part of the younger generation, I clearly recall having such an interest in my cousins that lived in states such as Michigan, Florida, and Colorado. Not only did I get a kick out of their accents, but they always seemed so interesting just to hear what it was like in their part of the world.

Over the years, traditions such as, having an auction, bingo, and raffle drawings for sought after items such as a handmade quilt and paintings, done by a family member of course, have become the highlights of the reunions. Although these activities get the whole family together, I believe the real highlight for everyone is the conversations that take place throughout the weekend. Family traditions create good feelings and special moments to remember and enjoying this time together as a family will create positive emotions in each member. These are the memories that will last a lifetime. The time spent reconnecting with family members is celebrating the foundation of who you are and what your family heritage is (Vargus). Vargus gives the tradition an appropriate nickname that to me describes family reunion in just a few words, "It's more than a picnic". Despite differences or unresolved issues, to be committed to a family reunion we must put aside natural human tendencies and focus on the positive aspects. Over the years the Gorham reunion has been kept the focus where it needs to be and has been simply ran and organized, but that leaves more room for time for us to reconnect. The love and caring that is displayed between family members is passed on to the younger generations which will likely help deter them from wrong decisions, and also by them hearing about the variety of life experiences from the elder generation (Vergus). At a family reunion, many stories are shared and new ones are made, which provides family member with important values and a sense of belonging that they can pass on to their children and grandchildren. Families are the first place of support for individuals, the primary transmitter of culture, the primary teacher of values (Gore).

Being an only child I may feel a closer relationship to my cousins than those that have a sibling or two, because even though we really only see each other for a single weekend once a year, I have established family friendships that will last a lifetime. We have become self-absorbed as a whole society and easily get caught up in daily errands and thus has caused a deterioration of the extended family even when they live in nearby cities. Even though we live in a time where people are too distracted and busy by their everyday lives, family bonds are most important in building a strong belifef in the power of family and a sense of belonging and camaraderie. By the greater communication fostered at the annual family reunions we are able to keep these familial bonds strong (Gore).

During the 1970s and 80s, social scientists tackled the idea that nuclear families were in danger from being isolated from their extended families because younger families were becoming more mobile than ever before, moving across the country to seek job opportunities not available in their hometowns (Bjorklund). Following with the studies, our family has begun to now use more communication technology such as text messaging, e-mail, digital cameras, and now especially Facebook. According to Sociologist's Vernon Bengtson's intergenerational solidarity theory, family members can be very close if they have frequent interactions, feel a great deal of affection toward each other, share basic attitudes and opinions, help each other when help is needed, agree with the basic beiefs of the family unit, and have the means to interact with each other (Bjorklund).

As Bjorklund says, "defining family is not an easy task". And like I said before, unfortunately we live in a time where people are getting more divided and distracted by their everyday lives such as work, school, and parental responsibilities. With nothing to do but relax and reminisce, the family reunion is so comforting to have a weekend to escape our everyday realities to join together with a sense of belonging and camaraderie. No other institution in our society has more influence on the lives of all its members than the family. As the provider of nurture and socialization, it is the basis of individual well-being. It remains the unique source of identity and emotional satisfactions that meet the basic human needs (Vergus). Family reunions give us a time to strengthen our own identity, and the importance of how identity leads to self-esteem cannot be overestimated (Bjorklund). As my family does, we are all sort of stuck together for a weekend, camping around a pavilion and participating in activities and kin folk chatter. In the midst of it all we recognize the specific talents of other family members which give a sense of pride for them and inspiration. Role models are discovered, and they have the opportunity to help deter the youngsters from drugs, alcohol, and crime. .

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