Fight and Flight

Fight or Flight

We sold our home in a week this past summer. Things were moving forward in our dream of building a home/hanger/business 23 plus acres by the lake. The building started; things seemed to moving along smoothly and fast then stopped. Then pressures of time began as thing slowed down; with finishing the hanger part then, contractor busy with other things and winter was coming we were living in our motor home. Then county stating “hand written” on building permit to our contractor “not a living dwelling”. It hit hard. We moved in with my 87 year old mother. Reflecting perfect need for adjustment from a life changing event as indicated in “Coping with Stress in a Changing World” ( p.7). Our family well-being had been altered and as a result my health was compromised.

This is when my fear set in. My dreams may not come to pass. The alarm bells start ringing. Highlighting GAS alarm stage very well (p. 5). What do I do? What can I do? I was spinning couldn’t make decision feeling the resistance stage (p.5). I felt like the wind got knock out of my sail. My dreams in stand still. I kept doing what I always have plus added more to my plate to deny my feelings by pushing myself especial doing a spin class (there is a bit of a metaphor with exercise. I chose to eliminate the extra stress which seemed to add instead) to get the extra energy out because of not liking what I was experiencing but doing nothing to change it except letting run continually through my mind. This then exploded into more denial that I was sick more resistance.

I listen to other saying don’t worry which made me worry because I like to do think correctly not behind the sense then my body gave out. I hardly ever get sick and if I do it two days or so since I am expose to so many things on the air plane. Well my body got my attention and I ended up with pneumonia an extreme indication of GAS exhaustion stage(p.5). There was no deny it I had try to run from it. I know this from my work as a massage therapist that emotion aspect effects the immune system greatly and I need to confront this issue and not hide in my hide any longer. “The human freezing response does not easily resolve itself because the supercharge energy locked in the nervous system is imprisoned by emotions of fear and trauma” (John f. Barnes). Adding to the experience was living with my mother and those triggers in life and dealing with my son and husband with my mother to put more on my plate the things I did to keep in balance was not enough to substance the added stressor and I was not willing to look at until my body screamed at me.

I need to go into my fear and confront it or my immune system would not get better and I would be locked in a pattern. The recovery stage was for me to set up the meeting with the county to get a continence for my business was the