Fireproof - Film Review - You Fireproof Your Home; Why Not Your Marriage?

You fireproof your home; why not your marriage?

Such is the obvious but unobjectionable theme of Fireproof, a modest but heart-warming drama that tells the story of a small-town fire captain, Caleb, whose marriage to Catherine, the PR director at the local hospital, is on the rocks. They have lost patience with one another.

RESPECT AND EMOTIONS

Catherine accuses Caleb of spending all his time looking at "trash", like pornography on the Internet for example. He, in turn, complains that she no longer shops or cooks for him. He is saving up for a boat, but she would like to use that money to make improvements on the house. Every other time, Caleb and Catherine are mad at each other, shouting at one another--fighting. Each feels disrespected.

Caleb knows that he is not a religious man like his Lieutenant, Michael Simmons, but Caleb considers himself a good man. Sure he has an addiction to pornography and things have not been great with his wife, but Caleb saves people's lives daily as a fire-fighter, so, in his eyes, that makes up for it.

In reality, the implied truth is that men want nothing more than to be loved and admired by their wives. Men want to be thought of as amazing heroes to their wives. But the rub is that men need to act like heroes to their wives. Deep down, more than fancy houses and big boats and nice stuff, real women just want good men--men who are disciplined, men who are faithful, men who are generous, men who do their share, men who do nice things for their wives, men who give their wives time and yes, of course, men who provide for their family. Just because you save little kids in fires during your day job (or complete complex mergers and acquisition deals, or write impressive research papers, or coach an undefeated football team) does not automatically make you a hero to your wife.

It is also true that pornography actually strips away this husband's ability to be a real man. The woman feels humiliated, and she notices that the man is becoming more selfish and becoming a worse husband. With this, the wife feels disrespected. She rejects him more, to the point that she would nag him, because what women wants is to be heard and listened--to be understood.

In response to this rejection, the man feels disrespected, so gets angry and finds comfort in those things that make him feel good, the things he can control, and so he escapes into his fantasies, whether its pornography or dreaming of the boat he will buy one day. And the cycle continues and things just get worse.

After a particularly bad shout-out between Caleb and his wife Catherine she tells him she wants out of their marriage. Caleb agrees, moves into the spare bedroom and calls his parents to tell them it's over. The couple has been married for seven years and is on the brink of divorce.

TEMPTATIONS

Under the guidance of his born-again father, John, whose own marriage to Caleb's mother, Cheryl, had once been in trouble, Caleb reluctantly promises his father he will follow the instructions in a journal called "The Love Dare," which saved the older couple's marriage, in order to rescue his own seven-year union that has built up a lot of hurt and bitterness between them.

At first Caleb is doing it out of obligation, but slowly he realizes how important his marriage is to him and then he really starts to fight for it. However, Catherine remains obstinately unyielding, and disparages Caleb's sincere proffering of morning coffee, flowers, a candlelight dinner and sickbed duty, thinking he's merely buttering her up for better divorce terms. She was further reluctant to reconcile, as she was in thrall to the smarmy attentions of the polite Dr. Gavin Keller at work. He is charming and complimentary, and she enjoys basking in his praise.

The temptation that Catherine felt at this point is actually a manifestation of her depression and frustration brought by her marriage situation. She is longing for someone who would stand by her, listen to her, understand her, and appreciate her as she is. And with Dr. Keller, she feels loved, she feels important, she feels like a woman.

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE

"God meant marriage to be for life. You've got to keep your vows. You've got