Interpersonal and Intrapersonal Conflict

Interpersonal and intrapersonal conflicts exist in American families in relation to their structural composition. The predominant familial ideology in America, that of the 'Traditional Nuclear Family' is generally understood to contain two parents, one male and one female, and for many this social norm is considered the best foundation for raising children. "Previously, the nuclear family, which is the most common model in Western society and is made up of only the father, mother and children, was presented as the family type best able to ... ensure the best upbringing for children," Milena (2009) Gay and lesbian families defined as two parents of the same sex who are raising children experience a variety of interpersonal and intrapersonal conflicts not experienced by heterosexual parents because their familial structure does not conform to this well established social norm. I want to analyze the institution of the family through the lens of each of the three main sociological theories, functionalism, Conflict and Interactionism. In order to support these perspectives, I will explore the social structure of the 'Traditional Nuclear Family', comparing similarities and differences to the structures of both gay and lesbian families. I will address conflicts that arise intrapersonally and interpersonally within these three different family styles, and demonstrate how these experiences are similar and different in influencing the parenting demands within each of these family styles. I will also address how these challenges can positively or negatively contribute to the social development or the sociology term interactionism among others. To this end, I will demonstrate that a variety of variables contribute to the development of healthy families as well as evaluate the impact that each of the theories has on the structure of the family.

Functionalism sees family as a system where all individuals are interrelated and working together in the effort to satisfy the needs of the unit. Functionalism emphasizes the consensus and order that exist in the family, focusing on social stability and shared values. From this perspective, disorganization in the family system interferes with the family stability, and when one part of the system is not working or is dysfunctional, it affects all other parts creating social problems such as conflicts. The parents, regardless of whether they are heterosexual or gay or lesbian have a huge part to play in this system and their interactions with other family members contribute to the stability of the entire family. When it comes to heterosexual parents and same sex parents, there are similarities and differences in the family dynamic. Similarities for both family styles are social norms such as rules (cleaning room, doing homework, curfew, etc...) and expectations for obtaining a K-12 education. Differences for both family styles are more relevant to the gender roles. In gay families, the lack of a mother figure, and in lesbian families the lack of a father figure are different gender roles than the culture is accustomed to. The macro culture dictates having both a father and a mother are necessary for a child to function in society and that does not exist in a same sex family. Functionalism defines the roles of each member of the household. When it comes to the parents, the father's role is the breadwinner. He would view his responsibility as providing food, clothing and shelter. In giving this, he feels that he is giving his family stability. The mother's role is to maintain functioning in the family household. Domestic responsibilities include child rearing, maintaining the household, and keeping the general peace of the family. When it comes to same sex parents functionalism has a different affect based on how they perceive their roles in the family dynamic. For a gay male filling a maternal role, he may feel self-doubt about his ability to live up to the expectation of his role. Likewise a lesbian filling a paternal role may have similar challenges. As a same sex parent, they may feel indignated to constantly have to prove themselves in the role they are trying to fill. From this perspective functionalism would believe that for the same sex couple just like the heterosexual couples would be held together by social consensus or cohesion, in which members of the family agree upon and work together to achieve; what is best for the family as a whole. When all family members are playing their part and have good attitudes there is balance, peace and unity in the family. When any one member is rebelling against his/her role or responsibilities then the family as a whole suffers imbalance, stress, disunity and dysfunctional tendencies. "Functionalists would also claim that the family will work best when each member has some power to agree or disagree with what is decided" (2001). By having input into decisions each member feels validated and the family can grow based on the idea of consensus rather than dictatorship. If each person does not actively take on his or her responsibility then the major concern is the conflict perspective on the family institution.

Conflict is defined in our text as "that the institutions and interactions within society foster inequality and competition, and when they are challenged, then beneficial social change can result." (Vissing, 2011). In the context of a family institution, social conflicts are inevitable. At some point, two or more members of the family may disagree, even to the extent of altering their system of personal relationship. It is therefore evident that the conflict theory affects the way family members relate to each other regardless if it's heterosexual or homosexual. It also dictates the nature of relationship present among the family members. The conflict theory affects the views of family