Look Case

Look! Up in the sky...it's a bird...it's a plane! No, idiot. It's SuperMatthews. Or it could be if I had my way. Who wouldn't want to be Superman if they had a chance? In all the books I've read, all the movies I've seen, all the television I've watched, no other character quite compares to him with his super strength, his speed and ability to fly.

The strength would really come in handy, I think. You know how sometimes you go to the store or a restaurant and there isn't a parking place anywhere? You drive all the way around the parking lot and, oh look, is that one? You hurry over there and yes it is! Or at least it would be, if the schmuck in the giant pickup truck next to it hadn't parked half in one spot, half in the other. I hate those guys. But if I was Superman there would be no problem at all. I'd simply lift up the truck, turn it upside down and place it neatly and gently in a single parking space. Let him figure that one out when he gets back. Or even better: I could sign a contract with the NFL team that offered the most money. I'd play running back and score a touchdown on every play. Just try and tackle me, pal. In my first game I would make it clear that I had no intention of running around anyone. I'd run through their defense like a freight train runs through glass. That would be both fun and profitable.