Marriage, Couple, and Family Counseling

Marriage, Couple, and Family Counseling

History/Development

The practice of treating psychological problems in the context of the family did not actually begin until the mid 1950's. Family therapy evolved out of the reigning paradigm of psychoanalysis and the medical psychiatric model as patients' treatment needs seemed to go beyond the psychoanalytic workroom (Nichols & Schwartz). Earlier on in the past centuries when people had problems they would turn to an older friend, family member or a neighbor for advice because there was no professional help for them because it did not exist.

Introduction

Counseling is very important in our society today. Counseling is a tool that is used to keep things in order. The primary responsibility of counselors is to respect the dignity and to promote the welfare of clients (ACA Code of Ethics, 2005). Many individuals seek counseling because they need help with different situations that are taking place in their lives. Some people seek counseling for conflicts between their family, issues with their spouse, financial issues, loss of a job, and a number of other issues. The sooner that a person seeks counseling the better the situation will be. The longer that a person allows the issue that is bothering them to go on the deeper the problem becomes. The different types of counseling that a person can seek are family, marriage, and couple counseling.

Marriage counseling is defined as the process through which a professionally trained counselor assists two people (the engaged or married partners) to develop abilities in resolving, to some workable degree, the problems that trouble them on their interpersonal relationship as they enter into a marriage, live with it, or move out of it (Mudd & Goodwin, 1963). Married couples will seek counseling when they are experiences problems in their marriage that they cannot work out on their own. Couples that are willing to forget and forgive what has happened during their marriage and want to move forward in the marriage will seek counseling to save their marriage and make the union work. Marriage counseling aims to help individuals or partners to come to some resolution of their conflicts and difficulties in order that they may achieve more adequacies in dealing with their problems (pg.960). Some couples seek counseling prior to getting married to ensure that they are making the right decisions in wanting to get married to one another. Some people see premarital counseling based you the fact that they are entering into a second marriage after being widowed or divorced (pg. 981).

Sometimes when a couple attends marriage counseling some things may be discussed that may upset the other person but it is always best to be open and honest during these sessions. Research states that "the fundamental difficulty underlying marital conflict is the individual's inability to relate constructively to his or her partner because of inappropriate selection, unresolved conflicts, or residual immaturities" (Mudd and Goodwin, p. 981). Balance or equity in marriage is a function of respect, trust, and commitment (McCarthy & McCarthy, 2006). It is important that whatever issues the couple is attending counseling for is resolved completely during the counseling sessions in order for the marriage to work. Adjustments in lifestyles, such as changing from boyfriend to husband status or girlfriend to wife status is sometimes difficult as well as maintaining friendships with your single friends. These concerns can cause serious problems in a marriage. Couples have to learn that your old life cannot always follow you into your new life.

According to the 2000 Census the majority of American society chose to reside or live with a partner. 52% of US households are maintained by married couples, and there is an increase in the number of couples living together from 3.3 million in 1990 to 5.5 million in 2000. Nationwide in 2000, there were 21,000 marriage and family therapists helping couples work together and deal with their relationship issues (US Dept. of Labor, 2000). Couple's counseling is a form of relationship counseling that is for people who are involved in romantic relationships, both married and unmarried couples can seek couple counseling. Most couples desire stable and satisfying relations and are motivated to treat their partner fairly so that in return they will receive, over time, what they have given (Goldenthal, 1996). According to Ricketts and Gochros (1987), many individuals are unaware of the cause of their emotions and mistakenly blame their mate for their own reactions. The conclusion is supported by Cole and Wetzer (1999), who have found that most couples who attend therapy exhibit an excess of suspicion, deception, and quarrelsomeness. There may be several reasons that a couple may come to feel discouraged, depressed, angry, and even demoralized about their relationship (Pazaratz, 2010).

Couple's that attend counseling learn that relationships are built around trust and communication. Couples learn that their problems are best handled within the context of the couple's relationship" (Will, p.219). It allows the couple to be sincere with one another and to talk openly and form a better relationship with one another while getting a professional third party involved. Research suggest that "with aid of qualified clinician, couples can bring peace, stability and communication back into their relationship thus affecting their lives and the lives of those most impacted by them and their relationship" (Will, p.219).

Many couples begin to live together before being married and they no longer feel the need to follow tradition and that their decisions is nobody business but theirs. Many couples feel that they do not need to have the support of the others in the decisions that they make in their relationships and that it is no one else business what they choose to do. The challenge for counselors is deciding how to work with couple and family systems that may need premarital counseling, marital therapy, divorce counseling, family therapy, or individual counseling (Smith, Carlson, Stevens-Smith, & Dennison, 1995).

Family counseling is a way to help families work through their problems and remain together after the problems that they are experiencing have been resolved. Family counseling that involves children mainly focuses on the child and the difficulties that they are having in their life. Carlson and Trapani stated that "family counseling is a form of intervention that occurs when the problematic behavior of an individual child is treated therapeutically in the context of the family. Family counseling is a time-limited intervention that includes the assessment of the problem