Marriage Vs Cohabitation

Of interesting note with regards to the issue of marriage versus cohabitation is the perception of the couple that family members, friends and people in society in general have of the couple themselves. For example, it has generally been the case that many societies often frown upon cohabitation out of wedlock and members within society would much rather prefer that couples live together only after marriage. It is also interesting to note that young couples who have a positive outlook on marriage will choose to get married as opposed to simply living together. (Tbornton, A., Axinm, W.G., & Xie, Y., 2007, p.226). The key point here is that perception of marriage is very important and society itself has a responsibility to build up the image of marriage as being a positive one.

It is important to note the underlying difference between marriage and cohabitation, which is that marriage, is a legal and official situation that is tied to both religion and the state. In its traditional sense, marriage is a union between a man, a woman and God. Historically, marriage has been supported by social and personal factors. Personal factors include the agreement and trust between the couple; and the social factors include the families of the couple and their traditional obligations which have been proven to strengthen the marriage. (Tbornton, A., Axinm, W.G., & Xie, Y., 2007, p.226).

With that being said, why is it that more and more couples are seeking cohabitation as opposed to outright marriage at a very young age? In order to understand this question, it is important to delve into circumstances such as conflicts that occur in a relationship and well as the possible resolutions that are likely to come about in the different types of relationships. It is clear to understand that one of the driving forces behind cohabitation is the fact that there are monetary incentives behind it. This means that couples see the financial benefit of moving in together without the commitment that would be imposed on them if they were to move in after being married. According to Newcomb (1979), "both males and females see financial gain as significant positive outcome of cohabitation." Therefore, this incentive is strong enough for couples to make the decision to move in together because it minimizes the individual risk that each member has on their own. This can explain the reason that younger and younger couples are moving in together.

Another aspect with regards to the conflicts and resolutions that come about in the two types of relationships is that married couples often take loans due to their financial problems; however, their problems are easily solved. It has been noted that one of the most common problems found among couples that are married stem from financial issues and problems that arise when married couples do not have enough money on hand in order to satisfy all other their needs. This can lead to a situation where tension between the members in the relationship would arise. This could lead to a whole host of other problems such as resentment and regret which could further exacerbate the problem.

Of course, problems can get out of hand if there is no proper communication between the couple. Communication is arguably the most important aspect of any sort of relationship. It allows for the expressing of feelings, the understanding of what an individual expects from the relationship and it can also help build bridges in times of hardship. Therefore, communication skills are a vital part of any relationship, whether it be a cohabitation relationship or a marriage. It has been noted that cohabitating couples have poor communication skills and lack the proper respect between the couple. According to Lichter & Qian (2008), many partners prefer cohabitation over marriage because they cannot stick to one partner as they have poor communication skills and they do not know how to live a stable relationship and have fear about the future. This can have serious consequences in terms of the stability and continuity of the relationship.

In the case of married couples, these relationships are primarily based on communication and respect between the couple. This is important for several reasons. For one, it helps in building trust between the coupe which can go a long way to maintaining the relationship in periods of trouble and problems. Secondly, communication and respect between the couple can lead to a shared vision of how the couple want to live their lives,