My Cross to Bear

My cross to bear

(An American short story published in 1990)

This story is about Kenny who raped a girl, and the ways his mother Myrna chooses to deal with it. I choose to call this story " My cross to bear" because religion plays a big role in this story.

Myrna is Kenny's mother, and she has very hard time believing and accepting what her son has done. She can not believe that her son, her high school graduate has raped a girl. When Kenny does not want to answer his mother's questions she knows that she has to find them elsewhere and she seeks them in her catholic religion. Myrna can not even handle to look her own son in the eyes, she feels such shame, but her religion gives her the answers that what Kenny had done was Gods will, and it was her cross to bear, this helps Myrna accept what Kenny has done. Or at least she thinks so. But when Kenny gets out of prison and goes to visit his mother, she can still not look at him, she feels such shame that she actually wishes that Kenny had never been born. She realizes that in spite of what Kenny had done she still loved him. But her love did not need his company. It survived on memories of him from before he got in prison. So Myrna gives up on her son and leaves: " Dear Kenny, I'm sorry. I just can't be your mother right now. I will be back in a week. Please be gone. Much love, Myrna" (p.6.l 187-190)

Kenny use to be a nice guy, he graduated from high school and Myrna had never seen it coming, that he would rape a girl. When Kenny was a kid he had seen his father beat up Myrna, they had been really poor and when Kenny had turned six Myrna had left his father, so Kenny never really had a real father. Kenny had told the policemen that he had lost his head in the moment. Kenny knew now that what he had done was wrong, and he told his mother that. It seems like he just wants everything to back to the way it was before he got into prison, but unfortunately his mother was not able to do that.

When Myrna looses her son to crime and to the prison she becomes very religious. She finds comforting in her religion. On p. 2 l. 39-46 she finds reasons why it is her fault what Kenny has done, she feels like at bad mother and she feels shame. But when she becomes religious she believes that what Kenny has done is Gods will and that it is her cross to bear. This helps her to accept it, or at least she thinks so.

In the end of the story Myrna gives up on Kenny and she realizes that she not be able to forgive what he has done. Myrna has a crucifix that is very important to her and her religion, but when she leaves she also leaves the crucifix at home. I think that there can be two reasons for this, maybe she leaves the crucifix there so it will protect and help Kenny, or probably more likely she leaves it there, because she does