My Social Dilemma with Self-Esteem

My Social Dilemma

Florida Institute of Technology

Professor Daube

Raini Hill

August 21, 2017

My Social Dilemma with Self-Esteem

        Throughout life there a various social dilemma’s each person will have to go through and overcome. One social dilemma I have found myself dealing with for a couple years is how to feel comfortable in my own skin. About 3 years ago, I got pregnant with my daughter and gained about 70 pounds. I thought after giving birth, I’d lose weight easily. However, I was also dealing with postpartum depression, and I’ve really struggled with losing all of the weight. At this point, she is almost 3, so I can’t really blame “having a baby” on failing to lose weight.

        I have been so uncomfortable with myself that I’ve refused to buy any new clothes, so I basically only wear sweat pants or pajama pants and tee shirts all the time. This is creating problems within my marriage as well as social life. I am too uncomfortable with how I look; I wont even go hang out with any of our friends. This dilemma in turn gives me anxiety when I’m in a social setting. I realize that if I were to put in more work and healthy, I would probably be able to lose the baby weight. However, having a toddler, and a husband with a very hearty appetite and already bad eating habits, it’s actually been harder to accomplish than I had imagined.

        During chapter three of our book, I learned quite a few things about my “social self”. The reflected self-appraisals is the belief about what others think of one’s self (Gilovich et al, 2016). Reading about the origins of the sense of self has helped me understand why we sometimes think the opinion of others is so important. One of my biggest issues with my self-esteem is that I’m worried what those around me are thinking. The idea of reflected self-appraisals is to see ourselves as others see us.  

        Moreover, the social comparison theory states “the hypothesis that people compare themselves to other people in order to obtain an accurate assessment of their own opinions, abilities, and internal states” (Gilvoich et al, 2016, p. 81). This theory relates to my social dilemma because in a social setting, I am constantly comparing myself to how other girls look and how they’re dressed.

        One of the most influential concepts I read regarding self-esteem was over social acceptance and self-esteem. This concept involves the self-esteem being a marker on how favorable a person is looked at by others. When I am out, or hanging out with friends. I wonder if I look socially acceptable. I don’t have any nice or new clothes that fit, so do I look too casual? Do these jeans make me look too fat? There are all kinds of scenarios that run through my mind. Overall, I worry about what my husband or my peers think of me. Does my husband look at these other girls who are smaller than me and wish I looked like them?