Self Disclosure/communication in New Relationship

Title: Effective Communication

Comm 200- Interpersonal Communication

November 7, 2011

Introduction

Dear newly engaged couple,

Congratulations on taking the first step toward a happy future together. I'm flattered that you have asked me to share my knowledge of effective interpersonal communication, to help ensure your future together is long spent. The most important part of any relationship is effective communication. Understanding how to effectively communicate with each other will help you better understand each other. It is proven through research that couples who can effectively communicate with each other, share happier, more successful marriages. Effective communication is the key to a successful, happy marriage.

Principles of Communication & Cultural /Gender Differences

To begin let's define Communication. According to "Sole,K (2011) Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. San Diego, Ca; Bridgepoint Education, inc. (http://content.ashford.edu) "Communication can be traced back to the Latin word communico, which is translated to mean "to join or unite," "to connect," "to participate in" or "to share with all." This root word is the same one from which we get not only the word communicate, but also common, commune, communion, and community. Thus, we can define communication as a process by which we share ideas or information with other people."

In order for two people to be able to live a life together as one, they first need to unite with each other, and essentially connect with each other on a level were they can completely understand their partner. So how can two people connect on this level? Two people can connect by understanding the principles associated with effective interpersonal communication.

So what are the principles of communication? First Communication is personalized. What does this mean? This means that you communication needs to be personalized for the individual you are speaking to. Your behavior needs to flow with your partners to make your conversation unique, and personal. It is important in relationships to learn how to personalize your behavior to each individual, as described by "Sole,K (2011) Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. San Diego, Ca; Bridgepoint Education, inc. (http://content.ashford.edu" "This personalized communication streamlines the messages between people in the relationship. However, it serves another purpose as well; it can create an intimate bond between them that no one else shares, and much like a secret that they share, it can help to strengthen the connection between the individuals."

Relationships can become complex when there is not a clear understanding of the roles each individual play. Communication is both Symmetrical, and complementary. Symmetrical is an equal relationships such as one between friends, were complementary is more professional such as a student and teacher, or doctor and patient relationship. A Romantic relationship can have a bit of both, but problems may arise when one person tries to consume authority in an equal partnership. Within your relationship be sure to understand each others roles, as well as your own.

Communication has two levels, Content level, and relationship level. Having two levels to communication takes responsibility for many arguments. What you say can be delivered on a content level, meaning it may sound demanding, (or viewing your partner as an unequal party) even though you may think it was asked. You need to carefully choose your words, and how you phrase things to help eliminate arguments or misunderstandings.

As Communication builds you tend to build Expectations for your partner. This is when you learn when your partner is angry, joking, sad, or upset, by their tone, facial expressions, body movement, essentially verbal or non verbal cues. When problems are not communicated in a relationship this can change the normal behavior of one or more people within the relationship. The change in behavior could be unexpected, and cause arguments, or problems.

The last principle in effective communication is gender, and communication. There are many debates as to whether men, and women communicate differently. People believe that such differences in the communication styles stem from children. The way boys, and girls play differently as young children, create the way they may communicate as adults. Interpretation can hinder your communication with your partner, because of the difference in the way men, and women communicate, so as described by , "Sole,K (2011) Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. San Diego, Ca; Bridgepoint Education, inc. (http://content.ashford.edu" "it is important not to judge situations from your perspective but to check your perceptions with the other person to determine if he or she interprets a message in the same way that you do.". Always be clear in the message you are delivering to your partner, and if you are unclear in your partners message, ask, do not just assume.

It is important to understand that culture does play a role in the way people communicate. Understanding cultural differences can help eliminate misunderstanding within the relationship. Understand that different cultures communicate differently. Stereotypes are often associated with gender roles, and cultures. So how can you understand your partners cultural difference? Communicate.

Self-Disclosure

"Schoenberg, N (2011, February 6). Can we talk? Researcher talk about the role of communication in marriages. Houston Chronicle." states "you can have a two hour conversation with your partner, and not talk about anything of substance, quality, or value." "Communication means you're sharing, and really getting to know one another". According to "Sole,K (2011) Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. San Diego, Ca; Bridgepoint Education, inc.(http://content.ashford.edu") "The act of sharing aspects of yourself with other people is known as self-disclosure. Self-disclosure is usually intentional; you choose what you will reveal to other people." Self Disclosure can be unintentional as well, shared through non-verbal communication. If someone sees you cry, you have disclosed to that