Self-Forgiveness Vs. Self-Blame

Article 3: Self-Forgiveness vs. Self-Blame

Filed under: Getting started challenges by Sonya- Life Coach -- Leave a comment

July 7, 2010

Self -forgiveness: Is self-forgiveness really where it is at? Or is there something else?

After working with several clients I am finding that self forgiveness is a huge piece to unlocking keys to their immediate relief and overall long-term happiness. Even more so, I am finding that if I can successfully facilitate my clients to stop blaming themselves, I can get them to a new more powerful place of peace. This is a place of peace they have never known and it is more lasting. How powerful is this new discovery? Keep reading if you would like to get there and end a bit of unnecessary suffering.

While self-forgiveness is nice, it also assumes that you have something "wrong" to forgive yourself for. What if you weren't wrong? What if there is no right and wrong? Isn't it true that you don't have the whole picture of how everything eventually works out? Doesn't that release the need for you to forgive yourself in the first place? Doesn't self forgiveness make you wrong to the point where you may have to continually try for MORE self-forgiveness?

Here is a tool to find out if your best remedy is self-forgiveness work or releasing blame work. No matter what is coming up for you (divorce, lost job, argument, financial issues, etc- you pick the topic)

Would you feel better if .......you fully forgave yourself?

Or

Would you feel better if .......you stopped blaming yourself?

Quick TIP! - Stop blaming yourself!

Is it possible for you that a solution better than attempting self-forgiveness work is to stop blaming yourself in the first place? Are there things that you are blaming yourself for? Is that why you need to forgive yourself?

Let's explore:

Did you do all that you could based on only the things you knew at the time?

If you were wiser and more aware wouldn't you have chosen differently?

Didn't you only know what you knew at the time?

The message here is that we all operate from only the perspective we have at the time. Perhaps we did know better but in reality we only knew better to some extent. Knowing better a little bit was not enough. Is it true that you really knew better? Or is it true that you did not know fully to take different action? Sometimes learning the "hard way" is really the only way to learn our lessons to the fullest extent. Sometimes it is