Situations in Which You Know How You Will Always React

SITUATIONS IN WHICH YOU KNOW HOW YOU WILL ALWAYS REACT

Victims of sexual assaults have been through a great deal of stress and emotional distraught. A flashback of the days they wished they could forget. The anxiety, the panic attacks and horrible nightmares. Insomnia; hence longer days with mood swings, major depression and oceans of tears they still cringe to the slightest touch. For me I started avoiding dark place, movies with aggressive sex scenes, massages anything that that has the slightest possibility of reminding me of the days I bled my ribbons of innocence and omnipresent cloud of death was my pillow.

One very distinct day I went to the bathroom I wiped and discovered there was bubbles of blood on the padded tissue in my hand, bursting into tears I hurriedly dressed myself and cover the toilet seat, I tried to blot out the image from the night before which stained my mind, that was the first time. Groped and bruised sharp piercing between my legs violated beyond measures. Even though said first time I didn't ask for this to happen I didn't want to accept it and frankly I didn't even know what was happening all I knew was my private area hurts and I felt I lost hope in everything and everyone.

Depression set in at an early age, avoiding the world was my prerogative. I became a hypersensitive individual over time and I started to realize that I tend react to situation cases or incidents involving sexual assault and harassment more specifically if it happens to be in viewing distance or in and around my environment. I didn't want to talk about if out of fear of reprisal and it was something I thought no one would believe or even care because if they did someone would have noticed the changes.

Why would someone feel its ok to rob an individual of their innocence and childhood before they knew about the birds and the bees? Or at any point in someone's life male or female As time passed I could only think of when and where it would happen but my fragile frame and submissiveness to anyone older or in a position of authority lead to more pain and hurt and life altering events, scars that have taken years to even scab over much less heal, wounds reopened and new bruises formed. It started eating away my body until I found the strength to scream so someone could hear me, I screamed for hours and days on end the years of abuse and torture. My screams turned into to cries, this body and mind was not able to hold anything back. I made it my mission to listen to cries and screams of help provide assistance finding resources for those who need it but are fearful for whatever reasons. I don't judge and I never say it's a victims fault or made them feel uncomfortable in any aspect.

Psychotherapy and self defense mechanisms became something a necessity for me and many other individuals to cope and deal with these situations; the most