The Language Style Matching Exercise

RUNNING HEAD:VERBAL

I believe that the language style matching exercise was completely inaccurate. It gave me a score of .49. I don't believe any exercise on the internet can predict how well people get along or don't get along for that matter with conversations are that are between people that know each other. One of the things the learning style matching website said was there were too many shorthand words and misspelled words. Conversations between my husband and I do not need to be grammatically correct. Therefore, language style matching is not a comprehensive way to predict the quality of interpersonal relationships.

I took the exercise with text messages between the two of us. Sometimes we don't even need to speak my face says it all. "When you communicate nonverbally, you use your voice and parts of your body to send messages."(Sole, 2010) Communication is not just the words we speak (or type.) If he asks if he can go out tonight and I smile then its fine if he goes out, but if I roll my eyes and huff my breath he knows that I am too tired to deal with bedtime for two children alone. I probably communicate better and more often nonverbally then I do verbally.

I do however get along better with people I am communicating with for the first time better than people I have been close with my whole life. "For strangers, "If you just click with somebody but can't put a finger on why, there's a fair chance that high language-style matching is going on,"(Paul Taylor.) I can click with anyone at first. It takes a few conversations to prove if I can or cannot have a relationship with them. After a few conversations people tend to show their

RUNNING HEAD:VERBAL

"true colors". So, I do believe I can "click" with anyone at first but then learn them and dislike them.

"Two people locked in a bitter fight tend to talk, or yell, in similar ways."(Bower, 2010) This statement is very true in my experience. When me and my mother are in a yelling match I tend to talk more the way she would talk, use her words against her, act the way she would because it aggravates her more. She does the same, she will mock me, use words or slang that I am known for saying, so on and so forth. My husband does the same thing when we are getting a long I playfully make fun if his speech and language. When we are arguing he makes sure to say everything proper. If it is a text message fight he makes sure to "dot all the I's and cross all of the T's" It's almost as if in a normal state of mind people take extra measures to not make you mad but once they are already mad they take extra measures to take everyone down with them.

So, in my opinion the internet is just not a way to predict relationships. It has some