The Unforgivable Mistake

Because of one mistake early in my life, my life was turned upside down. At the time I was heavily drinking and drugging and didn't care what happened. My self-esteem was at an all time low. I felt I was worthless and would die alone. I realize now that I was in self-destruct mode and nobody could stop, not even my family.

It was about this time that I finally hit bottom. I lost my job and was getting kicked out of the house I had been renting. I met a girl and convinced myself that she was the one. She wanted to be with me, even at my lowest. I was so wrapped up in my self-loathing that I failed to realize or care that she was underage. I needed companionship no matter the consequences.

It wasn't until I decided to move back home that I realized that I had made a major mistake. I was arrested about a week later and transported from Washington to Colorado. I was going back to face my demons and I was scared to death. I could not believe I was in this situation. Me, an athlete that has never been in trouble before. I was supposed to be going to college, playing basketball, not being booked into jail.

I was given another chance. I was put on probation with an opportunity to wipe the slate clean. All I had to do was stay out of trouble and quit drinking and drugging. But I still thought I would get away with anything. After all I could in high school. It was about this time that reality hit me in the face. I violated my probation and had to face the music again.

This time they weren't so lenient. I was sentenced to prison for the rest of my life. I figured my life was over. I couldn't even look at my reflection without being repulsed. I shamed my family and drug my grandfather's name through the mud. I was ashamed of myself.

The first couple of months were the hardest I ever had to deal with. Living in a place like that can make a person nervous. I was constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't being attacked for the crime I had committed. I had to be careful how I acted and mindful of my surroundings. One wrong move or wrong look at someone and I wouldn't have made it another day.

Thing started getting easier everyday but there always was the chance of running into the wrong person. I started getting to know people and pretty much settled in. I realized this was going to be my home for awhile. I had given up on being a free man again. I was going to be here until I grew old and passed on. I thought of just ending my misery and taking the easy way out but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

I was working on my third year as an inmate when I got the best news of my life. I was getting another chance. My attorney appealed my case and won my freedom once again. I was to be let out and put on parole for two years. I was released exactly three years to the day, and I was just as scared getting out as