The "ah Ha" Essay Rough Draft

The "Ah Ha" Essay Rough Draft

The process of my discovery was when I couldn't feel my legs and I knew that I had to do something about it. I felt like I was going to stop breathing or something if I didn't drop the excess weight that I was determined to lose one way or another.

It was one of those days when I had air under my feet. The sound of my own raspy breath filling my ears. Heart pounding, thighs screaming this was a "ah" moment for me. The moment that I had realized who I had become, who I had changed myself back into how I had worked and what I had lost in the process. I was now someone strong and capable, physically and mentally fit. I was there, in the moment, with 200 other fitness professionals, sweating, breathing and moving. I had fought for this, hard. Gained a lot and lost even more. But I had triumphed. I was there and I was doing it. All my hard work and all that I lost, both physically and personally, wrapped up into the moment. I sweated and then I cried.

Many of us have an "Ah Ha moment." Mine was at a fitness instructor convention in an athletic skills and drill workshop. Not much of a place for a revelation. There were no lights from heavens above and no angels singing. In October 2008 I weighed 230 pounds. I wore a size 18. I could not walk very far, and I could not climb stairs. My feet hurt all the time. I had spent years staring into the bottoms of empty ice cream containers, spoon in hand , wondering what had happen to me and my life. Where did I go? Who was this unhappy creature eating away her days, passing time, waiting until she died? I had no answers. The young, fit, happy, passionate, hopeful 29 year I once knew, was gone. She had been replaced by sad, fat, dispirited hopeless 33 year old one who could not even reach feet to tie her shoelaces.

The steps that I took consciously to lose the excess weight were I went to the gym, I walked to the store and I changed my eating habits which made a big difference. It was a determination and sacrifice that I willing to do no matter what obstacles came my way.

When I made my decision to give myself one last chance, to make one final effort after thousands of failures, it was the beginning of a new life but also the end of an old. My resolution to better my health, reduce my cholesterol, strengthen my bad valve and reduce the excess weight that caused me so much physical pain ended up costing me and much of my life. Losing weight for me was never about looking better. I couldn't care less. I wanted to feel my body move again, to feel alive again. Wanted to have less pain, and to not have people look at me in pity. "Poor fat girl. No self- control." I used to be healthy. I needed to feel that again. To show my children exercise is good, and that our bodies are meant to move. It feels great to work and stretch your muscles and that it builds