Why Do I Need This

As I think back where the physical affected the social dynamic is when I was a child my father was in the Army and as a result we moved around every couple years. The result of me moving so often made me an outgoing and friendly person that could make friends relatively easily. Every time I would attend a new school they had already had their groups of friends and I would have to prove myself and make friends with groups and be more social and outgoing. Such items would be to make sure I was decent in sports to be picked for kickball teams, go all the way across the monkey bars to gain respect, and even be a daredevil to jump at the highest point from the swings. I did all this to gain the friendship and respect of others who I was looking toward to be my friends.

A place where the social affected the physical dynamic is the idea of body image and size. Over they years I have come to realize that being gay and going out to these type bars I was seen as fat and overweight. It was even said to my face and hurt my feelings when I was a little younger and cared a little more than today. However, going out with my friends to the straight bars on mill or anywhere in town I would be hit on by women and they expected me to be a little larger and not so thin in nature. That was confusing to me at first why the stereotypes were so distinct and still not sure why the difference but caused me to avoid other guys and led me to date women for several years to feel less self conscious about not being supermodel size.

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