Article Critique

CRITIQUE

This article is a critique on the article by Nara Schoenberg, "Can We Talk? Researcher Talks about the Role of Communication in Marriages." Relationships vary (there are a lot of different types). I think there is no one way to define a relationship and there are no rules or guidelines to go by. Good communication, honesty, self-disclosure, and loyalty are all very important in every relationship.

In the article, "Can We Talk? Researcher Talks about the Role of Communication in Marriages" (Schoenberg, 2011), it has some good points and some that are not so good (at least to me). I can relate to what Nara talks about when she says "research consistently has shown a link between happy marriages and "self-disclosure, or sharing your private feelings, fears, doubts and perceptions with your partner" (Schoenberg, 2011).

My husband and I try to have some sort of self- disclosure. We figured out fast that if we don't communicate on what we want or how we feel: One or the other goes on thinking everything is fine when the other is not. Which, not having some sort of self-disclosure, could lead to bigger problems (like resentment, bad communication, etc.) I do believe some self-disclosure is important. I'm not saying tell your significant other everything. Some things should not be said, but enough to build and to keep up a strong relationship.

If you are not honest and open with your partner, it will not work out. For example: My husband and I used to not have self-disclosure. When we first got married (after the "honeymoon" stage) we didn't really communicate well. We both went on with our lives not really sharing anything we were thinking or about our wants and fears. That lasted a couple years till we started acting like roommates who occasionally had sex. It took infidelity to open both of our eyes and work things out. We had bad communication (from both parties) and we were not open and honest about what we want (or cannot live without). We still are trying to work on our bad communication.

Something I do not agree with was: Nara said that men need more affection than women do, I think it is equal. I know I love it when my husband shows affection towards me and vice versa. To say that one gender needs it more than the other is just ridiculous. Everyone needs affection, to feel "loved". Something my husband does is hold my hand or caress my skin. This is non-verbal communication; you use your voice and parts of your body to send messages (Sole, 2010).I feel loved when he does "little" things like that. It makes me think "He's thinking of me." This in turn, makes me want to make him feel loved too. Sure there are gender differences (like when a woman gets sick we do not complain and want "babied" as much as a man), but everyone needs affection.

Did I fit into