How Does Polygamy Impact the Lives of Those Involved in the Relationship

HOW DOES POLYGAMY IMPACT THE LIVES OF THOSE INVOLVED IN THE RELATIONSHIP

Introduction

        Research shows that the structure a family adopts is likely to affect the family’s social, cognitive and emotional wellbeing of those involved in the family (Amato, 2005). According to Giddens (2013), the current society is characterized by a number of socially accepted forms, which means people need to be talking about families and not family. Giddens argue that western and European families are characterized by monogamy, marriage and ideas based on romantic love (2013). However, there are some countries where families and their formation are still based on traditions and culture. These are regions were polygamy is still highly being practiced. In Ireland, however, polygamy is not recognized by the government laws, which means its practice is very low. In this country, only the Irish Muslim practice polygamy, while a majority of citizens in this country practice monogamy (Amato, 2005).

Polygamy was a major family formation in many parts of the world. However, after the Roman Empire and the Catholic Church condemned polygamy, there has been a significant debate on whether polygamy is healthy or unhealthy for relationships. This practice, which mostly entails one man marrying multiple wives, is hotly contested, despite its widespread misunderstandings. The type of marriage is not only practiced in the Utah by Mormons, but it is common among the Muslims, Hindus as well as other religious groups and cultures (Family Law Layer, 2015). Furthermore, polygamy was common practice in the ancient times, with the Christian Bible noting several marriages were polygamy was practiced: Lamech (had two wives) and Solomon (one thousand wives) (Genesis 4:19). However, while polygamy continues to be practiced, it is perhaps important to shift attention on how it affects those involved in it.

A study conducted in the United Arab Emirate in 2014 provided results which suggest that women engaged in polygamous marriage suffer severely from negative emotions. According to Mikulincer and Goodman (2006, p.73), human beings are different from animals, which means they build long lasting and unbreakable bonds with their partners. This makes one to wonder how polygamy can be considered as something that is natural unproblematic. Research has also indicated that women involved in a polygamous relationships increase their chanced of being in an abusive relationship (Mikulincer and Goodman, 2006, p.75). A research conducted by Troy and Traore (2008), however, shows that issues such as fighting and jealousy are not considered as utmost regards in a world where every woman want to be married. It can, therefore, be argued that adults and children involved in polygamous relationships experience both psychological and physical challenges when compared to adults and children in traditional relationships.

Marriage and family Pattern

        Research on trends regarding marriage and family patterns can help one to understand how polygamous families and marriages incorporate social patterns in their relationships. Andrew Cherlin (2005) and Stephanie Coontz (2006) have made significant contributions regarding the topic modern day marriage patterns. According to Coontz (2006), marriage was mostly regarded as a “union of two opposite beings” with very little emphasis being placed on satisfaction and intimacy (Coontz, 2006, p.10). Also known as institutional marriage, previous forms of marriage were mostly based on traditions and laws and not the intimate connections that two people experienced, thus encouraging polygamous marriages (Cherlin, 2005, p.35). Marriage and family patterns associated with polygamous relationships are, therefore, are a result of people’s traditions and laws.

        Polygamy not only means that many wives are married to a single man (Polygyny), but there are cases where a woman is married to a number of husbands (Polyandry). Both types of polygamy are different in nature and are distinguished from a monogamous marriage. From the perspective of polygamous families in North America, the family and marriage structure found in polygamous relationship are not traditional, even though other parts of the world consider the structure found in this relationship as being traditional. Apart from polyandry and polygyny, polygamy may also take the form of ‘group marriage’ (Holleran and Pudsey, 2011, p.64). However, there is no adequate research, which includes a society where group marriage is common.

Polyandry, on the other hand, is quite rear, considering that co-husbandry is considered by many people to be fraternal (Holleran and Pudsey, 2011, p.64). However, in a case where polygamous marriage is in the form of polyandry, the males involved in the marriage are either brothers or clan members, and should be from the same generation (Holleran and Pudsey, 2011, p.64). In Todas, there is a tradition, which suggests that, when a woman is married to a man, she also becomes the wife of the man’s brother (Peterson and Bush, 2012, p.378). In Brazil, among the Yonamama Indians, a wife is allowed to have other sexual unions with her husband’s consent (Peterson and Bush, 2012, p.378).

Polygamy and Culture

        Regardless of the different types of polygamous relationships, polygyny is the most common form of polygamy in today’s society. In that sense, when many people talk about polygamy in today’s society, they are mostly talking about polygyny. Also, while a number of western countries have banned polygyny, many women around the world are still sharing husbands. A good example is the Muslim countries in Africa, the Middle East and Asia, where state laws are used to recognize polygamy as a valid marriage formation (Witte, 2015, p.18).  To be sure, it is important to consider the African polygamy belt, which stretches from Senegal to Tanzania and are mostly governed by customary laws and ancient traditions that combine with Islamic teachings (Witte, 2015, p.18). In these countries more than 30% of men have married multiple wives (Witte, 2015, p.18). The same issue can be seen in Benin, where 55% of women share husbands (Avery and Holmlund, 2010, p.29). In the US, there are still significant questions of what happened to the Romneys and Obama’s that they need polygamy to accomplish what they could accomplish with monogamy (Avery and Holmlund, 2010, p.29). Human beings are perceived to exhibit animalistic behavior where one male does not see one female as being enough.

Gender role in Polygamous Relationship

        Both men and women have a part to play in a relationship. These roles are however, intensified in a polygamous relationship. It is also important to note that different cultures assign different roles for different genders in polygamous relations. In North America, for instance, where Patriarchal structure is largely practiced, the male and the females in the relationship hold roles that are strict (Chattanooga, 2015). The man is regarded as the head of the relationship, and his major roles are to show love to his female counterparts. The husband is also given the privilege of authority over his many wives (Chattanooga, 2015). Wives, on the other hand, play the role of subordinates. Main role of women in this type of relationship is to be submissive, take care of children as well as the husband needs in Ireland.