Wording Analysis

We decided that the load the van carries is piglets. We believe that nine piglets are able to fit in a square yard and would move towards the light. Also the movement of the van, when in use, could shift the animals toward one side of the van. Condensing the space and packing it solid would reduce operating time because the driver would not have to worry about the animals moving around. It makes sense for the piglets to be lying by the back door because they have a natural instinct towards a point of exit. The request for a drainage cover would be for the food, water, bedding and feces of the piglets to be washed out after use.

Our analysis of J's memo according to the 8 C's of formal writing is as follows:

1. Correctness: The memo that J has written is missing the memo headings. Instead of signing the bottom of the memo, he should have signed his initials by his name in the "From" area. J's first sentence could have been included with the second paragraph. The first fragment sentence is "So reduction of the load space seems necessary." The second fragment sentence is "So the front axle is not overloaded." Both of these sentences are dependent clauses that require independent clauses to make them complete sentences.

2. Courteousness: J uses the words "must be" four separate times which shows his assertiveness by not giving the reader an option of whether or not the changes should be made. J's last sentence "the aforementioned technical changes are to be made to vehicles in service" is also assertive but he does not use the phrase "must be". This request is not reasonable because J is being too assertive and overstepping his boundaries by making a decision that would be decided by a supervisor. His request for the space reduction and the sealed drain are reasonable because they are appropriately urgent for them to complete the operations.

3. Consideration: The request for a space reduction is his most convincing argument. J provides enough information about the space of the needing to be reduced. J justifies that the balance of the van would not be off and that the front axle will not be overloaded. The piglets restore the balance by rushing to the rear doors and lying there during operation. His least convincing argument is concerning the lights. He gives two options for the lights, saying that they need to be better protected now or completely eliminated. He then says the lights could be used before and during the first moments of operation. He is not clearly stating what he wants done. He should have only said one option with supporting reasons. J's last request about a sealed drain in the floor is simply stated and supported by saying what it would be used for. He does not give reasons why it is absolutely needed, so as supervisors, we would not be convinced we need to install sealed drains in our vehicles.

4. Completeness: If we would have been J's supervisor we would probably have thought he was being redundant. We would have previously had all of this knowledge and would not need him to take up my time of repeating the cargo load over and over. You can tell that J and his supervisor had a previous conversation by the second paragraph in the memo. They