Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

        In 1990, John Mayer and Peter Salovey had a theory that emotional intelligence was either from your genes or experiences. In 1995, Daniel Goleman wrote a book about their theory and his own. Goleman said, “I used the phrase to synthesize a broad range of scientific findings, drawing together what had been separate strands of research – reviewing not only their theory but a wide variety of other exciting scientific developments, such as the first fruits of the nascent field of affective neuroscience, which explores how emotions are regulated in the brain.” (Goleman, 2005) Emotional intelligence is defined as the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically, according to dictionary.com. Daniel Goleman had 5 dimensions of emotional intelligence. They are, self-awareness; the ability to recognize and understand a person’s mood, emotion and drive and the effect on others. Self-regulation; being able to control impulses, moods and to think before acting. Internal motivation; motivation with external rewards, knowing what is important in life. Empathy; being able to understand the emotional makeup of others. Social skills; able to maintain relationships, build networks and keep a common ground.

        When taking the test, I was a little nervous and wasn’t expecting the results. I had read over everything about emotional intelligence so I became aware of the different aspects between low and high EQ. Taking the test was almost like an eye opener for me, taking test made me realize just the type of person I really am. I had always had doubts about not being in touch with others emotional state but after taking the test I noticed that I had been wrong about myself and maybe too hard on myself as well. The reason why I was feeling nervous was because I had thought I was going to have a low EQ result. After getting the result of high EQ, I was a little shocked but relieved. I had then thought about my results and realized why the results were correct, though there are things that she could work on to improve.

        Emotional intelligence is important in a lot of ways. It is important in a business or work setting because one needs to have high integrity, not boastful and is able to understand others emotions to be considerate. It also builds trust and stronger relationships. In an article by john Keyser, he says that it is our soft skill that helps put people at ease, build and maintain strong relationships, and makes people feel appreciated.

        There are many ways that everybody can improve and enhance their emotional intelligence. I personally need to slow down and reflect on what brings me the greatest meaning to life. I am always so busy with my day to day activities that I do forget to take time and just enjoy life. I think that a lot of people are like that as well. We are all in a rush to do things that we may not like doing, but we need to remember why we are doing those things. We all have something that we are working so hard for, whether its your kids, pets, parents or friends. Mine is my kids, I am always running around doing things for them or getting the house tidy and the tireless nights doing schoolwork, that I forget that the reason I am doing these things is because of them.