Moving Out

Dear Mami and Papi,

This letter will probably come to be different then all the others. Hopefully what I am about to tell you will not come as a surprise. It is quite late,approximately 1:09am and I have just finished all of my homework and about 80 percent done packing my bags. Wait did he just say "packing my bags?" Yes I mean no mistake. Hopefully if you guys for once listen to what I am saying in the letter instead of putting it to the side or throwing it away you may or may not understand. Last nights argument was not the worst of arguments but one of hundreds in the last couple of months and one of thousands in the last couple of years. Do I blame you for being a bit ticked off for not fallowing the "rules" of this very normal lifestyle household we live in? No, not at all. I am well aware of that fact and am also well aware that I may be acting a bit selfish on my part. TIme and time again I say things like "well Im out of hear" or "well maybe i'll just run away" and more often then not I get a response like "fine do it then" or something along those lines. I think you may think you know were I am going with this but you are probably wrong. I am not running away. I have a bit more sense then that. I am simple taking a sojourn (journey). A leave of absence if you must. I need to get out of this house, I need space, I need time to reflect and try and relieve myself of something for which I am not quite sure at this point. Try and look at it as me going to summer camp for a couple days but still being in Oak Park. Do I expect you guys to understand? No not at all, why would you? I would prey and wish that even if you don't understand and don't agree with my motives you would agree on the fact that maybe a bit of time apart could do us all just a smidgen of good. Living in this household (which by the way I do not look at as a prison on any level) has brought me a number of issues weather that be stress related, anxiety, you name it and at this point I have just about had it. You guys are wonderful parents and I say that with complete honesty and sincerity and I can tell you guys are trying your hardest to hold this family together but its going to take time, its going to be a long long process and in my opinion with the way things are going this "leave of absence" is just about mandatory to move forward in this grieving and family process. Parents kick there kids out all the time, and the kids have no were to go. This is not the same. I texted katie right after the fight and told her I needed to get out. With BLANK being gone there is a large spear room. For a couple days I will spending my days and nights there. With a phone for contact. At first I thought BLANK but I figured not only would you guys defiantly not go for that but also I feel that Ian and I would get sick of each other as good of friends as we are. I like or border