Wearing the Pants

OK Ladies.... Do YOU have what it takes? Hard Truths that need plainly said. Women everywhere say they wish their husband was a stronger, more Godly leader... a true man of God. Yet, rarely is it seen in the church today.

What I keep observing after many years of being married to a men's pastor and counseling hundreds of people is women say they want this in a man but often force their husbands to be subservient, quiet, doting, passive, soft, scripture memorizing, fully catering men. The number one issue most counselors face is passive men and uncomplimentary wives. They do not seem to understand the true nature of masculinity that is even shown as examples in the Bible. Do you think a passive 'yes Ma'am' kind of man is a true man of God? Men are to be strong but have a loving side too of course. Their current passivity prevalent in the church today is not Godliness and women can sniff this infestation of weakness a mile away. Yet we say we want a strong loving protective warrior but then as soon as he begins to walk in this role we want to tie his hands, bind his mouth and castrate any strength and will he begins to have.

How do you expect a man to even be a man inside the typical modern church when the majority of what goes on in the church caters to women? Pastors have the difficult job week after week of making sermons that address human needs and God's provision for those across the spectrum of race, age and gender. Aside from the main service there are many things for women to uplift and teach them and programs for the children of the church but there is little for the men. If they are lucky there is a steak dinner or burnt pancakes once a month. Yet they are expected to usher and serve whenever fingers are snapped and there is little to no discipleship for the things that men struggle with daily like pressure, lust, anger, stress and how to be a Godly leader.

Church has catered to women for years but has neglected to focus on the men. WHY are there delicate flowers and doilies in the men's bathrooms? Why are there mauve coloured walls and the scent of gentle fresh rain lilies? Why does the front of the church look like a florist skipped through with complete abandon? Why are men singing only tender love songs to their Creator but none that speak to their inner strength or stir their warrior heart? How can they fight evil and stand strong when they are constantly emasculated and feminized?

There is a secret I would like to share with you ladies... Christ was loving, merciful, tender and mild... but he was also fierce, strong, just and powerful. You are safe in His hands but before him your knee would bow and your pride would be stripped away.

Your husband is made in the image of God. YOU were made from him and for him to be his helper. God did not put you here to remind your husband of his failings and what an idiot he is...nor is he here to simply serve you like some kind of a royal, narcissistic invalid. God has given him a purpose and legacy to fulfill, an adventure to lead and you as the woman he loves are to help him on this mission as you both embrace the adventure of life together.

But Ladies, let me ask you this, are you secure enough in God to let your man really be a man? When he does begin to rise up in his God given authority do you have what it takes to submit and encourage him? Do you help him grow and learn to direct it in a Christlike manner or do you domineer and control him out of a deeper insecurity or fear that he doesn't really have what it takes?

Do you realize to all the Christian sisters out there who partake in this behaviour, that you are in fact mocking God himself when you do this? Who are you to disrespect or treat your man like a child? He is not here to simply serve you. It is YOUR job submit to him, help him and lift him up so his name will be respected at the gates. Treat him with respect in public AND at home!

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